What the f!
by Smitten-With-Day-Dreams
Summary: After an unforeseen turn of events, Eleanor Greene is hurtled from her reality into the body of Isabella Swan. Unable to decipher if she is dead or dreaming, Ellie has to quickly adapt the role of her beloved favourite character in order to blend in. But things are not as they should be - and all Ellie can think is, "what the f***!" Slow burn; OC/Jasper. Fanception AU. RATED M!
1. The Beginning

**What the f***!**

 **A Twilight Fan Fiction**

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The high tide of the East coast casts waves up the side of the grass-topped cliffs. Ellie kicked her feet as icy spray caught her bare calf, she watched in annoyance as bumps rose on her forearms; she sighed. The snore of the ocean virtually drowned out the laughter of her friends who sat by an open fire, drinking cans of Strongbow and lighting branches. Ellie was cold but she continued to sit alone with her legs hanging over the side. There was usually sand below, she used to build sandcastles with her sister Olivia while their Dad dripped 99p-cones all over himself. It seemed like those memories were a lifetime ago, well…she supposed in a way, they were.

'Oi, come and hang out with us you boring bitch,' Molly shouted while Laura and Faye lit up cigarettes. Ellie didn't want to, she was sick of the jokes they made at her expense. Sure, she wasn't as smart as them, she wasn't as pretty but that didn't mean she stupid or ugly. Some friends. 'Greene, stop fucking sulking and get over here!' Ellie raised her middle finger and put it in the air as a clean indication of her response. Whatever was Molly's response, Ellie didn't hear. She was shocked into withdrawal as a large wave soaked her legs, forcing her to pull her knees up from the cliff side. Unfortunately, her friends had come over and had gotten her look of surprise on video as they chortled with laughter. Ellie scowled.

'Don't be such a grump,' Faye said, she nudged her foot into Ellie's back and put the camera closer to Ellie's face.

'Yeah, lighten up,' Laura scoffed.

'Just leave me alone,' Ellie barked, she pushed Faye's leg away from her and stared out across the dark water in hope that they would go back to their fire.

'You're such a miserable bitch,' Molly shouted at her, Ellie remained silent as tears burned in her eyes, Molly smirked to herself as she shoved Ellie's shoulders from behind. Ellie gasped, she gripped the side of the cliff and twisted in attempt to crawl inland. The girls laughed. 'You're actually pathetic, Ellie.'

'Have a beer, cheer up,' Laura told her and she stepped away. Ellie saw this as an opportunity to follow Laura back to the fire, she could get her things and walk home or she could take Molly's car keys. Molly swung her leg and kicked Ellie is the stomach, causing Ellie's arms to buckle and she got a mouthful of grass. Faye howled with laughter. 'Guys, come on,' Laura called, 'leave her alone.'

'Shut up, Laura,' Molly muttered, she slammed her foot into Ellie's side. Ellie cried out in pain, coughing as sobs erupted harder in her chest.

'Poor baby,' Faye said, she knelt next to Ellie's head and brought the phone closer to Ellie's face. 'Is baby crying?'

'Fuck off,' Ellie growled, she turned away and lay on her side. Her heart ached, she just wanted it to stop. Why did they hate her so much? Molly mimicked her sobs and stomped down on Ellie's legs.

'Stop it, for fuck sake,' Laura shrieked.

'Oh, fuck off, Laura,' Molly said as she continued. Faye had gone silent as she stood filming, her expression torn between uncertainty and a weak smile.

'Come on, Molly,' Faye scoffed, 'she isn't worth it. Let's get drunk.' Molly stopped and regarded Faye with a stoic expression as Laura moved past and helped Ellie up onto her feet. Faye stopped recording and stepped back, her discomfort evident.

'You were both laughing two minutes ago,' Molly said as she looked between them. Laura put her arm around Ellie's waist to support her and they took a few small steps before Molly pulled on Ellie's arm.

'Molly, leave it,' Laura said, she shoved Molly away before trying again to aid Ellie.

'Oh, so now it's not funny anymore,' Molly said, she scoffed. 'Put your camera back on, you'll want to laugh at this later,' she told Faye. She grabbed the back of Ellie's hair and yanked it. Ellie screamed.

'Stop it, just stop it,' Faye shouted but before she could physically intervene, Molly had grabbed Ellie by the waist and was dragging her back towards the edge. Laura and Faye froze. Everything was inaudible, as though her hearing was the first to abandon her as Ellie hurtled downwards. Her stomach churned. Her heart raced.

 _I don't want to die_

Feeling something solid beneath my fingertips, I press my palms down hard to lift myself up. Ringing deafens me as I gasp for air, holding onto the side as my lungs burn. I cough so violently that bile begins to make its way up my throat and I lurch further over the side, pushing myself onwards out of the water. I ache momentarily as my body contacts something solid and cold. I spit out vomit and sit myself up, clenching my eyes shut. It feels as though someone has just shoved a spike through my temple. I stay like this for what feels like a long time, that is until I'm shivering so much my teeth are slamming together. That's when I open my eyes.

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Author's notes: I'd really appreciate any reviews, always keen to know what you think - and I love to hear about where you think this will go. Thanks for taking the time to read this! - Smitten With Day Dreams


	2. Chapter 1

**What the f***!**

 **A Twilight Fan Fiction**

* * *

 **Chapter one:**

Where am I? It's a bathroom, I'm certain of that but I was falling. Was that a dream? It couldn't have been, I'd been out with the girls all weekend. You can't dream for that length of time, at least I don't think you can. I rub my eyes, hoping this is just some bizarre hallucination.

'Honey, is everything alright?' Asks a voice through the door. Who is that? I look around the room, searching for clothes. None - but there's a towel on the back of the door. I use the side of the bath to help me onto my feet and wrap the towel around myself. I feel like I was pushed off a cliff, as delirious as that sounds but I'm alive, I survived! A thrill of relief bubbles through me and I can't help but laugh, I fucking survived! Fuck you, Molly Wetherby. There's another knock on the door. 'Bella, are you okay?' Bella?

'Err, it's not Bella but yeah, I am,' I say awkwardly, raising my hand to my throat as I speak. What accent is that?

'Very funny,' the woman replies, 'hurry up or you'll be late for school.' School? What's she talking about? This obviously isn't my house but then, that isn't my voice either. Hesitantly, I step towards the steamed-up mirror above the sink. Pulling the towel from around my waist, I rub the reflective surface and take a shaky breath as I stare into the brown eyes of someone else. That's not me. I'm…not me. It's not possible. No fucking way. Whose body is this? I'm brunette, I'm skinny, my God I'm fucking pale. 'Bella? What's going on?' The door handle turns down a few times but the lock on the door keeps the stranger out.

'Bella,' I say, scrutinising her. Wait, as in…? Holy shit, I'm Bella Swan. Look at me, I'm beautiful. She's beautiful – and unbelievably pale. I can't emphasise that enough. I look like someone's taken the saturation out of my skin.

'Bella, open this door, right now.' She sounds pissed. I wrap the towel back around myself and steadily make my way over to the door. Now I've never been dead before, or in a coma, but this all feels a little too vivid. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Anything beats drowning again. I twist the lock on the door and push the handle down, pulling it towards me. 'Finally,' the older woman huffs. 'Look at you, your hair is soaking. You're going to be late for school.' Rene? Wait, am I in Phoenix? Holy crap, I'm in America! 'Bella!'

'What?' I ask, wincing at her tone. 'I can't possibly get dressed when you're in my way.' Rene raises both her eyebrows and clicks her tongue as she steps aside.

'We're going to discuss this new attitude of yours when I get home,' she tells me and turns to go downstairs. I stare down the corridor, confused as to whether any of this should feel familiar. To the right is my bedroom – Bella's bedroom. Bella's Forks bedroom. I pad cautiously into the room, expecting the ground to crumble beneath me but it doesn't. The floorboards creak but that's about it. It doesn't look much like I remember. There's no rocking chair in the corner, no beat-up computer. The bed looks far more expensive and the duvet is green, there's a full-length mirror in the corner next to a large chest of drawers, and a monitor stands on the middle shelf of a bookcase surrounded by DVDs.

'Homey,' I mutter, going over to the window. I can hear the birds chirping outside, the sky is overcast looking nearly as pale as Bella. I watch Rene walk down the drive towards a silver Ford, finally noticing the nursing scrubs. If Rene is in Forks, does that mean she and Charlie never split up? Bella would never have moved away. This is ridiculous. I'm obviously dreaming, Rene would never have stayed in Forks and she certainly wasn't a nurse. If this is my brain's way of coping, it seriously sucks. I sigh loudly as I fall onto the bed, letting my wet hair soak into the duvet. I can't believe Molly pushed me off a cliff. I used to have sleepovers at her house every Friday, we shared birthday parties and she held my hand at my Dad's funeral. When did she stop being my friend? I suppose the better question is why did I put up with her treating me like shit? I didn't deserve to die though. I swallow whatever is building up at the back of my throat and force myself to sit up. 'Stop it,' I tell myself, drying the tears on my cheeks. She doesn't matter anymore, none of them do. For whatever reason, I'm Bella now, and Bella never knew Molly, Laura or Faye so it doesn't make sense for her to cry. The only logical move I can make in this exceptionally illogical situation is to do as I'm told, and I'm already going to be late.

Finding Bella's school was a no-go, in fact I got so lost I walked past the hospital twice. In the end, I decided to come back to the house. It's so familiar yet different here. Rene staying means the house is brighter, more coordinated. The furniture looks modern, as modern as life could be for Bella. I'm assuming this is still around the early 2000s since Bella's still at school and, well, human. I have a curious look around, finding stocked cupboards and a lot more family photographs. Charlie doesn't have a moustache. Why are things different? Why would I imagine this lifestyle for Bella? Rene left because she was unhappy, is she still unhappy? What's that sound? Is that a phone ringing? I make my way back upstairs to Bella's room and glance around, confident that it's coming from this room. There. On the bedside table under a poetry book, Bella's mobile. I pick it up and stare at the caller ID; Mom. That didn't sound good. The school probably called her when I didn't turn up, Bella's in for some serious berating tonight, that's for sure. Letting it go to voicemail, I push up the screen to reveal a dial pad. The home screen unlocks. Holy shit. There, staring back at me is a picture of Bella with Mike Newton. His arm is around her waist and he's kissing her cheek as she grins into the camera. Christ, that feels messed up. Does that mean I'm dating Mike Newton? I'm not sure how I feel about that. What about Edward? Have the Cullen's moved to town yet? Oh God, what if they don't move to town at all. I grimace. This is not the kind of life I'd want to imagine for Bella at all, what the fuck is going on?

The phone begins to ring again but this time, the ID flashes as Alice Cullen. Alice! So, they are here, that's great news. Not all is lost for you yet, Isabella Swan. I answer the phone and put the mobile to my ear.

'Bella, are you there? Are you hurt?' Alice asks, she sounds rather alarmed.

'What?' I ask, confused. 'Yeah, I'm here. I'm fine, not hurt at all.'

'Your Mom called, why aren't you in school?' She asks. Shit. I can't tell her I don't know how to get there, that'll just sound ridiculous. Even more so if Bella's lived in Forks all her life. 'Bella?'

'I…slipped,' I slipped? Where am I going with this? 'This morning, in the bath. Hit my head.'

'You said you weren't hurt,' Alice practically shrieks. I can't help but roll my eyes, we both know what Bella's like.

'I'm not, not really,' I continue, 'but I wanted to lie down, just in case.'

'Why didn't you tell your Mom?'

'She was in a rush to leave, I didn't want to bother her,' I lie. This was a bad idea, I shouldn't have answered. Now she's going to report back to Rene and since there's no mark on me, she's going to know I lied. I'm not doing great at this so far. 'Look, Alice, I'm going to have to go.'

'Why?'

'What's with all the questions?' I ask, and then close my eyes in irritation. Why do I do this to myself? Just put down the phone, Eleanor. Fuck sake.

'I'm just worried about you, Bella,' Alice says, sounding far more concerned than before. Get off the phone, Eleanor. Put it down.

'I have to go,' I say and hang up, dropping the phone onto the bed. Let's not do that again, that was a bad move. Bad, Ellie. Let's just get a glass of water and we'll go from there, I'm sure I can get the hang of this – you know, until I either wake up or my heart stops beating. The latter option scares me more than I'd like to admit, even here inside a fictional character, the fear of death is still very much alive. When did I get so melodramatic? Christ. Glass of water. Go.

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Author's note: Again, always love feedback! Super excited to share this story with you, I hope you enjoyed reading it and continue to do so! Thanks, again. - Smitten With Day Dreams


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